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The rat snake and the hamster

By Michael Moriarty
web posted January 23, 2006

Snake befriends hamster at Tokyo zoo (Associated Press, January 19/06)

A hamster named Gohan and a snake named Aochan live together in a cardboard box at Mutsugoro Okoku zoo, near Tokyo
A hamster named Gohan and a snake named Aochan live together in a cardboard box at Mutsugoro Okoku zoo, near Tokyo

In Tokyo, a rat snake made friends with a hamster. The Tokyo Mutsugoro Okoku Zoo's hamster was delivered as food for the snake, which was turning down the frozen mice on offer. Well, the snake and hamster became friends… for now, that is. We've seen it all, folks… so, indeed, a lion can lie down with a lamb!

This has only drawn my attention because of Nobel Prizewinning geneticist James D. Watson of the University of Chicago. He is an unapologetic eugenicist, a firm believer in the inevitability of Science taking over the future design of the human race. No longer will the universe and the Earth play dice with human genetics. There will indeed be a plan and Mankind will take full control over its destiny.

That this man happens to be a scientist is profoundly un-American, yet Watson is an American. But then again so is William Jefferson Clinton. Watson and Clinton know each other, via the eugenics grapevine. Clinton is Watson's Sherlock Holmes. Didn't you know that? Yes, rather like all of these French Enlightenment folie à deux types who sprang up in the English-speaking world, after having shown their colors in the German-speaking world as Dr. Josef Mengele and Adolf Hitler.

Clinton and Watson have plans for us under the Clinton Global Initiative. Although reducing humanity to the ecosystem of insects appears regressive, these notorious eugenicists don't think so. The New World Order is now building a Superhuman Insectile Race.

Insects are amazing. Just ask an entomologist like novelist A.S. Byatt, the Brit "Queen Bee" par excellence. She indulges in orgiastic arias about the ant, bee, wasp and locust. The Day of the Locust, indeed! Postmodern artists have been all over this since Nathanael West. Are you starting to pick up the cryptics? Aren't you thrilled?

Dr. Watson has declared a "morphologically homologous" relation between man and mouse. How about that? From man to mouse and then, who knows, from mouse to grasshopper.

Oh, we'll still look human, but the civilization we once thought of as consisting of animals touched by divinity in an evolving human consciousness will eventually live under the brutal rule of a beehive or an anthill autocracy. There are no insect politicians.

You're not keen on that outcome? Why? Don't you see how well-ordered everything "will bee"? If you crossbreed the strongest insects, humans could be as strong as ants, able to lift 10 times their own weight daily. Just imagine what that would do for our national productivity index! With insectile appendages, we can't lose!

What's wrong with that? No more wars or battles of the sexes, because the Queen Bee can kill you during sex, which would no doubt please feminist extremists!

Eugenics is "all or nothing at all." If the entire human race can't kick its chips into this pot, the New Superhuman Insectile Race is just not going to happen, according to Dr. Watson.

As for men and mice, this recent revelation about the rat snake and the hamster in the Tokyo Zoo might present a few problems. If you can turn men into docile mice, what would happen if you reach into the human guinea pig cage and find a venomous snake there to bite you? Our first self-image as Americans was a snake that said, "Don't tread on me!" This might also infer the phrase, "Don't screw with my little friend, either!"

Have you and your quantum theorists fed that data into the computer? The probabilities wouldn't be in your favor. I'm sure you Wiley Coyotes will come up with another Acme Plan. You can't stop now, can you? You passed the point of no return long ago when you treated the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision by the Supreme Court as your first real foot in the door. Clinton rode that Pale Horse of Death right into the Global Empire, didn't he? Then, like Hitler did with Pope Pius XII, Clinton coaxed Rev. Billy Graham to bless the Church of Francis Galton, the Father of Eugenics!

Well, just watch your hands when you stick them into the specimen box, Dr. Watson. There might be a snake or two in there to remind you how far into hell you and your pal have fallen.

Michael Moriarty is a Golden Globe and Emmy Award-winning actor who has appeared in the landmark television series Law and Order, the mini-series Taken, and the TV-movie The 4400. He recently starred in Pick Me Up, an episode of the Showtime TV series Masters of Horror. Michael Moriarty is also running for President of the United States in 2008 as a candidate for the Realists Party. To find out more about Moriarty’s presidential campaign, contact rainbowfamily2008@yahoo.com.

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