Hillary: "No woman is illegal"
By Gordon E. Finley
web posted January 14, 2008
With unsurpassed campaign brilliance, Sen. Hillary Clinton managed to confluence two of her most critical campaign themes -- Gender Politics and Immigration -- into four words: "No woman is illegal." She also threw in Health Care to make it a Trifecta. All this was reported in the Las Vegas Review-Journal on January 11, 2007 in an article titled "Las Vegas Stop: Clinton pitch hits home -- Democratic hopeful goes door to door".
So, as a man, I am kind of wondering how this would work if Senator Clinton became President Clinton. Presumably, every mode of transportation would be full of women from every corner of the earth flocking to America because they would not have to worry about trifling matters such as immigration status, citizenship, and health care. Presumably also, any man swimming upstream against the inflowing tide of women would be declared "illegal" and sent back to wherever. Do I read it right: "Men need not apply?" Men, you still are illegal?
Critically, how would the United States -- which most people believe is sliding into a recession -- support this incoming tide of women? Easy, they would be supported by another of Hillary's favorite programs -- the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). It works this way. All non-illegal women would immediately marry (or at least have a child with) any available legal United States Citizen -- male, of course. At anytime of her choosing following the delivery of her baby, the newly minted non-illegal woman simply goes to any local Family Court Judge and declares that she is "afraid" of her formerly legal male citizen. The Family Court Judge, without hearing the man's side of the story, immediately issues a restraining order making the formerly legal male citizen now a non-legal male citizen. What a VAWA restraining order means to the man is that he is thrown out of the house, required to stay away from his non-illegal wife and child, and immediately required to begin paying exorbitant child-support to this non-illegal woman for 18 years.
Problem solved! And, with this flood of non-illegal women entering the country, being supported by formerly legal male citizens, there also is a huge pool of Democratic voters just itching to develop more of these kinds of programs which have served them so well. Perhaps even more importantly, it provides a gigantic bastion of women inclined to vote more women into office who will give them even more of what women want.
So, if you think that this is a great idea, Vote Hillary. Otherwise, start looking around for candidates who believe in equality, equal opportunity, and support the old fashioned notion that boys and men deserve the same chance for a good life in America as do girls and women. 
Gordon E. Finley, Ph.D. is Professor of Psychology at Florida International University in Miami. His faculty web site is can be found at http://psych.fiu.edu/Faculty&StaffPages2/Finley/Finley.htm.