Soccer moms meet guns

By Karen De Coster
web posted March 5, 2001

Discovering a group of same-sex soulmates within a passionate cause in the contemporary political sphere has hardly ever been a blip on my radar map. Outside of libertarian affiliations, I never expect to meet women who have more knowledge of the rights to secession than they do insight on the content of Lifetime channel's Sunday Night Movie starring Armand Assante and a washed-up Jaclyn Smith.

Soccer mom hero Rosie O'Donnell (right)
Soccer mom hero Rosie O'Donnell (right)

After all, most women whom I work with, or come in contact with on a day-to-day basis think that Rosie O'Donnell is brilliant, they believe that any organization with the catch-word "children" in it must be doing the right thing, and they hang up Sally Jesse Raphael quotes on their office doors as signs of intelligent thought. So why would I ever have faith in my fellow gender comrades? And besides, most of them don't "think", they just plain "feel".

However, I think I may have renewed some faith in the mainstream female gender. Though I have, in the past, referred to my gender colleagues as the group of "Clueless Women Who Shall Worship Oprah Blindly", I'll retract that for a moment, at least. For I have recently unearthed a group of allies of the most unlikely kind: Soccer Moms.

Soccer what? You mean them old meanies who, always running late, pick up their children from daycare in the Dodge Grand Caravan Deluxe and drive mercilessly along tryin' to get home so the brats will stop screamin', and are cutting me off, and then giving me the finger? Those same women that Rush Limbaugh says voted for ALGORE, and who tape silly soap operas every day, and throw the towels all over the floor during a "White Sale" at Sears? Heck, aren't these the same women who see Hillary as the icon of the strong American female?

Yes, yes, and yes to the above, but let's get a grip on this situation, first. Evidently, they aren't all programmed by the same set of no-think beliefs. Here in a local Detroit community, Soccer Moms of the Right (no, that is not a typo) and the Left faced off. And the Right was victorious.

The story can be told about a Michigan legislature that recently passed glorious gun laws that will allow all residents 21 and over the right to carry concealed weapons with a permit, with restrictions on past records, of course. All said and done, unless a person has been involved in criminal activity, or unless that person is legally a nutcase, the gun boards can no longer deny one the right to carry a firearm.

Well, there's this bunch of former Million Mom March soldiers who aren't too fond of this law, because, as we are told, it is bad for "the children". So they took up petitioning to get this new law put on the Michigan ballot, so the egghead emotional voter could then have a chance to overrule this right-to-carry law.

And who organized the petition effort using the Million Clueless Moms? None other than a group called (and no, I am NOT making this up) "People Who Care About Kids". Yes, that's correct. No one who cares about personal safety, and the fact that guns provide this, could ever care less about kids (as we are led to believe). This is propaganda that is sure to go right to the emotions of those who have nothing intellectual to offer.

These Million Clueless Moms representatives, many of whom were also Soccer Moms, chose to petition where they thought they would find the most emotional and clueless women of all: at their local indoor soccer park where their children played in soccer leagues. Apparently, many Moms had had enough of all of the rhetoric and the hoopla about guns being evil, so they decided to do something about it.

Heads-up Soccer moms involved in this 600-team league organized and threatened to boycott the soccer league if these anti-gun bozos weren't immediately removed from the premises. The threatened boycott was large enough that the league would have lost about twenty teams. Plus, these mothers volunteered tons of their own personal time toward helping to keep these leagues organized. The soccer park feared a huge loss in business and goodwill, and therefore, removed the anti-gunners from their place of solicitation.

Thank goodness there were enough Soccer Moms with their head screwed on straight enough so as to be able to combat this threat against individual sovereignty. To see a bunch of everyday Moms stand up and be counted as an intellectual - rather than emotional - voice, is stirring, indeed.

In fact, women and the gun issue are becoming so popular here that the Second Amendment Sisters (SAS), a great pro-gun group of females, is organizing a female-only trip to a small Michigan tourist town, and are calling it the "Shop 'n' Shoot" weekend. Yeah!! My kind of weekend! Now there's no two things more endearing to my female heart than shooting my gun and shopping for lingerie and bath soaps and cute fuzzy things - and all in the same trip.

I think I may have to sign up to go on that trip. By the way, Soccer Moms, welcome aboard.

Karen De Coster is a politically incorrect CPA, and an MA student in economics at Walsh College in Michigan. She was last seen in ESR with her piece, Rape, or disappointing sex?

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