Obama bop-a-loo-mop a-lop-bam-boom By Greg Strange With all the intellectual substance of "Tutti Frutti," a silly Little Richard song from the 1950s, the Barack Obama campaign continues to rock and roll across America, racking up primary victories like gobs of gumdrops. Back in the ‘50s, songs like "Tutti Frutti" with their juvenile lyrics were ridiculed by grown-ups. Now, not only has the nation's youth been bedazzled by a bunch of tutti frutti about "hope" and "change," but a not insignificant number of Democrat and independent "adults" have also. Oh well, as somebody once said, you'll never go broke overestimating the gullibility of the American public. Or at least that portion of it which now wants government to nursemaid it from cradle to grave, precipitously pull out of Iraq regardless of the consequences and meet with the world's most despicable dictators in the hopes of finding common ground with them (the Obama program in a nutshell). Which is to say, that portion of the American public which wouldn't recognize a sensible political thought if it came up and bit them on the rear end. But Obama-mania isn't about sensibleness, it's about a cult of personality, though admittedly, a very genial and appealing personality. You could even call it intoxicating. So intoxicating, in fact, that women are fainting at Obama rallies at a rate that is, if not quite epidemic, then at least medically curious. So far, though, they've all come out of it okay as Obama calmly falls into the routine of calling for a medic, advising the crowds to give the fainters some space and requesting water for the victims, sometimes himself tossing a bottle into the adoring crowds. All in a day's work for this enthralling agent of change and bringer of hope who boldly seeks to bring all Americans together with his message of ___* (*See extreme left-wing program described three paragraphs above.) Okay, enough tutti frutti, time for some straight talk. As painful as it is to point out to those who think Americans of every race, gender and political affiliation are going to unite in support of His Messianicness, it's not going to happen. Why? Because Obama is to the left of Teddy Kennedy and Americans simply don't unite behind politicians who are that extreme, no matter how pleasant the packaging (though admittedly, the packaging has never been particularly pleasant before). But wait just a minute, some of you are saying. How can that be? Nobody's to the left of Ted Kennedy. This is a right-wing smear job. Stop trying to disunite the people. Sorry, but that's according to the nonpartisan National Journal which in 2007 rated Obama the most liberal member of the Senate. In other words, the guy makes Ted Kennedy look like Attila the Hun and Americans simply don't elect off-the-chart leftists to be their president. Look at McGovern in ‘72. The liberal antiwar candidate was trounced by the nefarious Richard Nixon, of all people, despite the unpopular and interminable Vietnam War. Yes, there was that matter of Jimmy Carter being elected four years later, but that was a Watergate-induced aberration for which the country paid dearly, and knew it, and wouldn't likely repeat the mistake. Unless . . . Unless, after all the decades of liberal indoctrination at every level of education, the country has finally reached a tipping point where the people who would vote for an empty suit with a far left agenda and a good speaking voice now outnumbers the people who know better. Given that, I guess it can't be ruled out this time. Now, they say that behind every successful man like Barack is a good woman. (Er, excuse me, they used to say such things back when women were quashed beneath the boot heel of a fascist, male-dominated power hierarchy and long before Cornell University changed the name of its Women Studies department to "Feminist, Gender and Sexuality Studies.") The point is, if you vote in Barack, you're going to get Michelle as well, and to put it mildly, this potential First Lady is no Laura Bush. This Princeton and Harvard educated elitist who has led a charmed life has been making plenty of stump speeches on behalf of her husband and hasn‘t been shy in telling the crowds how bad things are in the country these days. In fact, in a recent revelatory campaign moment, she revealed to the world that she had never in her adult life been really proud of her country until just lately when legions of its citizens swooned for her husband as they passionately clamored for change. Such a surprising statement from one of the country's most fortunate persons begs the question: How do you live the kind of blessed life that 95 percent of the world's population can only dream about without ever having felt any real pride -- or, presumably, any particular appreciation -- for the country that made it all possible? One might think that such a question would need to be tackled by a team of world-class mental health professionals, but I'll go out on a limb and guess that it has something to do with extreme leftist ideology. After all, who are the people -- other than our sworn enemies -- who typically have little or nothing good to say about America? Another recent revelation from Mrs. Obama is that we Americans "have to fix our souls. Our souls are broken in this nation." Really? What the heck does that mean? But guess who's the only guy that can remedy the problem? Here's a clue: it ain't James Brown or Otis Redding. My soul feels just fine, thanks very much, Mrs. Obama, but if it was ailing I'd look for relief from Motown rather than a socialist-leaning, dictator-coddling presidential candidate and his profoundly unappreciative wife. Amazingly enough, Little Richard had yet another, though lesser known, silly song that works as a simile for the Obama phenomenon: "Bama Lama Bama Loo." Fiddling with the lyrics just a little, we come up with . . . Got a candidate named Obama, he's greater than the Dalai Lama, Now liberals dig his style, he's like a drivin' ‘em wild with What a shame that the country's first serious African-American (literally) presidential candidate is a platitude-spewing empty suit with a pleasant disposition and a standard-issue far left agenda. Oh, well. Obama bop-a-loo-mop a-lop-bam-boom. Greg Strange's web site can be found at http://www.greg-strange.com. (c) 2008 Greg Strange.
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