Whassup my nappy headed hos!
By J.J. Jackson
Well, Don Imus has done it. The mumbling fool has once again proven, completely unwittingly of course, that there are just some things that you cannot say without drawing the ire of so-called leaders of a particular group (any group) unless you are a member of that group.
What's that? Double standard? Oh no. You don't understand. It's not a double standard. It's a carefully constructed redistribution of responsibility. This alleviates people decreed as special from being held to the same standards to which others are held. All this is done by establishing fluid and nebulous rules determined by the self proclaimed protectors of said group.
Case and point? Don Imus is being lynched by the likes of charlatans named Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton over the use of the term "Nappy-Headed Hos" to describe women on the Rutgers basketball team. Now remember, these are two men who brought us insults like "Hymietown" and acts like the burning of Freddy's Fashion Mart as defended "political speech". Al Sharpton has the gall to deride Imus for trying to be hip and using slang prevalent in certain segments of society? Jesse Jackson has the nerve to call the term insensitive? Give me a break. Sure it was a crude term but for these two to be lecturing Imus is like the pot calling the kettle (excuse the pun) black.
Honestly, I think these two race-baiters should be auditioning for a career doing standup at the Apollo rather than asking to be taken seriously considering their own pasts.
As for Imus? Remember this is the same guy who said that rather than belonging in Playboy, Venus and Serena Williams should be in National Geographic. And he pretty much did that with impunity I might add. Hey Imus, next time stick to only picking on those folks of darker complexion that Al and Jesse have approved to be picked on ok? I'm sure they can provide you an list of people like ... well Condoleezza Rice. It's ok to call her Aunt Jemima and mock her as bumbling fool muttering about aluminum tubes right?
Heck firing Don Imus for saying what he said is like hiring a stripper and then firing her because she dared to take her clothes off.
But I want to move beyond the petty bickering of two people that aren't relevant except to themselves. So today I have decided that since it seems everyone who has regular readers or listeners has some sort of term of endearment by which they refer to each other as (ditto head, great American, etc.), that I need one as well for all of you. So from this day forth, you all are my "Nappy Headed Hos". I think it could catch on.
Of course, only you will be able to call each other that. Anyone outside of our "group" that uses that term to refer to you will be swiftly met with boycotts and protests that they be fired from their job.
Now, all you Nappy Headed Hos out there that read my column each week know that words don't offend me just because they are words. They have no real power. That's why I feel secure in calling each and every one of you my "Hos" and why I am sure that all of you have no problem with it either. But you all know that if anything offends me about words it is their blatant misuse and redefinition by political hacks trying to create a lie and justify their own ideology under false pretenses. And that is what I want to really talk to all you Hos about this week.
I want to talk to you about some of the most egregious misuses of terms that are thrown at myself (and other conservatives) that really just grind my gears. You know, since we are all down with being offended right now.
First, is the misuse of the term "Nazi" to describe conservatives. I don't know how many times the liberals who enjoy hurling this slur in my direction have to be reminded, but the "Nazi"s were the National Socialist German Workers' Party. Let me reiterate. The "Nazi"s were socialists who sought to implement a totalitarian ideology. Some day perhaps you can explain to me and all my loyal Hos how exactly promoting liberty and capitalism qualifies me as a socialist promoting totalitarianism.
Which leads me to the misuse of the term "fascist". Let me say that me and my Hos have had it up to here with this line of bull crap. A "fascist" is someone that believes that nation (and sometimes race) trumps the individual and stands for the implementation of extreme social regimentation and a powerful centralized government and even possibly rule by a dictator.
Any day you want to try and make that argument about me you are free to do so and be met by howls of laughter as your ignorance shines through.
Wonderful! Now that I've gotten that off my chest, the next misuse of a term that "offends" me is when all you little lefties out there call me a "racist". Let's do something that you probably haven't done lately and crack open a copy of Webster's dictionary ok?
Racism is defined as either (and I quote) "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race" or as "racial prejudice or discrimination". So, by correlation a "racist" would be one that does one of these two things.
Now, I would love for any of you out there that throw this term around (like Al and Jesse do with ease) to explain exactly where I have ever said or implied that I honestly and truly believed that one's race determined their traits and capacities or that one race is superior to another. I would also love all you that can't argue your way out of a wet paper bag and who hurl this slur in a pathetic attempt to complain, to explain where I have ever practiced prejudice or discrimination based on someone's race.
Me and my Hos are waiting. No, mocking someone of a different race because they do or say something stupid doesn't qualify either. And while you're at it, you can work on justifying your misuse of another similar word that you also like to use. That word is "bigot".
What? You can't? All you can find is me openly promoting the equal and unalienable rights of mankind no matter what their color? Aw, sorry to hear that. So let's move on to the next topic shall we? That next topic is the term "neo-con".
"Neo-con" is a rather bizarre taunt that actually gets hurled by both people on the left and a select few on the right. Those on the left that hurl it are trying to subconsciously tap into the negativity of the term "neo" (as is neo-Nazi). They think that adding the term "neo" to anything makes it sound evil. They are also upset that "neo-cons" are generally former liberals who have, as the saying goes, been mugged by reality. So to them it is a nasty slur. No one can ever leave the mother ideology of hard core socialism without drawing disdain from their former fellow travelers.
But those on the right that use this term to describe me (i.e. the paleo-conservatives) are upset that they cannot defend their ideological vacancy towards not helping people who ask for help in their quest for freedom. Because I am for the Iraq War I somehow become a "neo-con" to these intellectual lightweights even though I support nothing in the neo-conservative agenda known as "compassionate conservatism" where the Constitution is still shredded to justify unconstitutional social welfare programs in a liberal-esque manner.
So the two of you (liberals and paleo-conservatives) get a room and stop it. It is getting old.
Ok, I'm feeling much better now getting all this off my chest.
Now I understand that I have just given you all a lot of homework to do. After all you have a lot of opinions to comb through in a vain hope that you might be able to actually back up the ignorant claims you make on a regular basis about me. So you will probably be very busy.
Hah! Who am I kidding? You're just going to tune in to Al Sharpton, hang on the every word of Jesse Jackson and continue on in blissful ignorance anyway. That's ok. Me and my Hos will still be here tomorrow, next month and for many years to come to keep you honest.