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Ding-dong, global warming is dead!

By Alan Caruba
web posted December 19, 2005

It’s always hard to determine exactly when a very huge, very bad, and very wrong idea dies in the wake of evidence that requires even the most reasonable person to conclude that it is, by and large, idiotic.

It might be that global warming as a viable notion died when a Los Angeles Times reporter in early December wrote, “Scientists studying Yosemite National Park’s bountiful wildlife have found that several animal species have moved to higher altitudes, an uphill migration possibly spawned by the grinding effects of global warming on one of the nation’s most protected wilderness.”

This is not news. It is mere speculation clothed in the majesty of journalism, but rife with the reporter’s opinion that Yosemite’s menagerie of mammals, birds, and reptiles are “possibly” responding to “the grinding effects of global warming.” For my part, global warming is a theory, a claim, and a façade for an agenda intended to destroy the economies of industrialized and third world nations alike.

Why do I dare to mock global warming? Well, consider from whence it oozes forth to infect the world. I refer, of course, to the United Nations, sponsor of the recent 11 th annual Climate Change Conference held in Montreal, Canada, and attended by more than 8,000 government folk, environmentalists, and scientists with nothing better to do.

The United Nations has been experiencing its own meltdown of late considering the stench of corruption and criminality emanating from its headquarters on the East River in New York. There’s the largest fraud in history, the Oil-for-Food fiasco. There’s the sexual exploitation by its peacekeepers stationed in Africa. There’s its opposition to actually doing anything to dislodge Saddam Hussein despite seventeen Security Council resolutions over a dozen years. And then there’s its plan to impose global taxation, which the U.S. media has managed to hide from people whose nation was born out of a tax revolt.

The progressive silliness of the various pseudo-scientific “proofs” put forth that global warming is real and demands massive sacrifices, et cetera, reached a nadir of nonsense when the spokesperson for a “feminist-based environmental movement accused men of being the biggest contributors to human-caused ‘global warming’ and lamented that women are bearing the brunt of the negative climate consequences created by men.” Hey, you cannot make up stuff like this!

I am not saying that we shall be spared more global warming gibberish in the years ahead, but I do think we have turned some kind of invisible corner on it. Most certainly the UN’s Kyoto Protocol is deader than Marley’s ghost. Even the Prime Minister of England, Tony Blair, has said as much. “No country is going to cut its growth or consumption…” Meanwhile, facing rising costs for natural gas, England is contemplating reopening its coal mines to keep Brits toasty warm and provide energy with which to turn on the lights. Good idea!

Meanwhile, to our north, Canada’s emissions are up 24% according to a 2003 UN report. Its Prime Minister, who had just suffered a no-confidence vote, had the nerve to chide the U.S. as lacking a “global conscience.” No word about ending the sale of all the oil and natural gas we Americans import from Canada, though.

Energy-loving Americans will not be denied. We have places to go, things to do, people to see! And the vast majority of us have quietly concluded that global warming is a crock; that global warming is a crackpot, half-baked notion that totally ignores the role of the Sun, the oceans, volcanoes, clouds, the total chaos we call our planet’s climate.

Advocates of global warming claim, of course, that they have little to do with climate change while “greenhouse gases” such as carbon dioxide are the culprit. In case you were asleep in science class, CO2 is what every human being and other creature on earth emits after taking in a good lungful of oxygen. CO2 is also produced when we burn various energy sources and so what? In earlier eras, such as the Jurassic, there was far more CO2 in the atmosphere than now. More CO2 today would insure healthier forests and greater abundance of food crops. Is this a bad thing?

Ding-dong, the theory, the claim, and the hoax, global warming is dead.

Let us get on with discovering new technologies to meet our needs. When my parents were born, automobiles were still a novelty. There was no such thing as radio, let alone television. Electricity for lighting and other purposes was catching on, but there were no refrigerators, washing or drying machines. The former was called an “icebox” that required a big block of ice and the latter activity involved hand-washing and then hanging out clothes to dry in the sun!

Had you told anyone then that man would go to the Moon in a flying machine, he would have thought you had been reading the novelist Jules Verne. Still, even then he would have entertained the notion as possible. As the 20 th century dawned, just about anything was possible as invention after invention enhanced the lives of ordinary people.

Just as surely, new inventions will solve new challenges, energy and otherwise. We need only have faith in our common sense and the vitality of our society. We need only ignore the scaremongers who want to turn back the clock.

Alan Caruba writes a weekly column, "Warning Signs", posted on the Internet site of The National Anxiety Center. © Alan Caruba, December 2006

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