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07/29/2003 Archived Entry: "BBC: Nessie doesn't exist"

DUH: The BBC has come to the conclusion that the Loch Ness Monster doesn't exist.

"[A] team used 600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation technology to trawl the loch, but found no trace of any monster, the BBC said in a television program broadcast Sunday.

"Previous reported sightings of a large beast in the grey waters of the lake led to speculation that the loch may contain a plesiosaur, a marine reptile which died out with the dinosaurs."

Of course, the reason why the team didn't find Nessie is because Monty Burns captured him a few years ago and brought him to Springfield.

Read on.