Future learning
By Daniel Ryan
web
posted July 29, 2002
[The following is a document from twenty-five years in the future.
After tolerating the resistance to bilingualism on the part of regular
Anglophones for more than two decades, the federal government decided
that the traditional incentive policy was insufficient: too few average
Canadians were taking their cue from the best and the brightest. So
it was decided that additional encouragement was necessary.
[After a study, done with the aid of many famous American educators,
the federal government decided that the chief barrier to learning French
among Anglophones was the excessive rigidity of standards in writing.
The note that many Francophones used a style of English that was somewhat
unusual, once another traditional kind of resistance to the bringing
to attention of this fact, provided grounds for a compromise.
[So it was recommended that Anglo kids be both encouraged to seek information
in French and that the teaching profession in all provinces and territories
relax their traditional concern with detail in exchange for a more tolerant
approach to the acquisition of a new kind of English that was more harmonious
with both the wordage and grammar structure of French. This suggestion
was backed up in the usual way through the federal-provincial relations
process.
[The above was, at least, the ostensible reason. More than a few Internet
cynics had already come to the conclusion that the target audience was
really multicultural America...]
Free English Composition
Marked on the basis of Informativeness and Illumination. Spelling
and Grammar Only Relevant For Purposes Of Communication.
Name: Kilbo Road [This seems to be a pseudonym, which presumably will
be legally recognized then.]
I knewing it said tat we can right as plaserly as we choose, but school
still schoolre. Infinite in its produckshun. So has been, it travelleding
from time to ours.
We knewing Englo called "standard" - it meant we has to obey
the King. Tat's whup for the ancien langage. Which we speakerly some but
not all.
Tings wàre simple bak ten. There were not our new tensons: had
I saided someting as simple as "I will wented," I'd be called
stoopid. Back in the veiled days, last centure or so, they did not have
these new modalations, so their ecripting, or writing, was less flexististic
and more primitif.
I an aware well dit thiss declaration of the purposive of paper might
not possess the relevance that is required for the achievementitudal aspect
of this ecription, ober an avov the dissication of the mark. The relevant
relevance will be made plein tère-below.
This paper is a bref discutation on how an omen led to my profitesse.
In order to sucessor yourself in the action market, you have to buy your
actions at the right temps and to sell them at the tempes correspondante.
In veiled Englo, this was dicayted "buy low, sell high." There
were plentantesque - diverse - means of bringing this about.
The kinds are two: firstèment, "fundament analyser";
sécundement, "analysation de technicien." There are also
schools that combine both through batterdising the up-avov togethere.
One of them is an elevation of the Science: Astrology.
My adviseur investissements explaned it to me as was. Jus as in book
How Prophecy Fails, meiny predactions are in fact predacativitudes.
Just there for random. The inner strenth of such predicatudes is the practiqual
benfices here on this earth, as oppose to all other monds of exixtance.
For exixtance doesn't arret you, it shaus you. Jus like I will showed
you what I had expérienced.
To omen, on must study the exixtente in all its complicitations. Every
causative is relevantisque. Al of them - all. This is how the technicien
ofs actions, or shares, beginning to proceed. Temps n'a pas thair; c'est
un irrelevantitude. This is essential.
In order to savé the CEO and hir monde de thought, on must take
the trial. It is a devoir that is impossible to brake or to put in your
oblier. Just as essentiallement to one's profitation as the ordeal is
to on's hommer life. We dont whiners want, nor any lazines. So you exuent
monde and confiner your you-self égoistically in the cervo sense.
No pumpness, nor pumpnessitude.
I begin by enterait into the temps subjonctif. It is the timelessitude
that gives the Insite that is self-crucielle. On must devait souffer one's
consciusness like the CEO hirself. Only then will Wisdom be empatré
into one's servo mechanisme. Otherwising to know as on's unconscience.
Once the temps subjectivté is presence, then te proces-standariste
has to much be applied. Loking at the action charts and any inicators
which tell you of hir movs.
But ce est maintenantce. It is just the premier baselining, and gives
yu non of the flow of the action, nor of the compagne that was lays down-underneth.
Nextément, commes te analysation of the fundaments.
These I can spreadshoot well sufficed. As le mond subjonctif is deepered,
then the rotisation which commences the sècondement tasc, it it
morphs into the avencement into Wisdom. No path knows.
One the spreadshod, then the historisation. Such is the examination of
unconscience that is necessairyment pour le frap the silver. I gotted
much argent, mané dollars.
Historiation was overed. Then the acton des actions is step third. (Sorry,
this it is done do avoider tropistic homonisation.) I will vued the prices.
(If you recommence, this complexitysation is necessair por vour imaginatif
entry into what I did do.) ["Not necessary - I understand."
Teacher's comment.]
I willed into 1975, wen Bill Gates hait composée le firstier programme
de BASIC. I saw the spell he use; such ait is the omen I seek. This is
how all business decisives are done; both you, me-maintaining and le me
that had be bak then, tout le three know. I had see it done by my patronpère
plus temes. They dont raticioner, they luck it over. And concentrationait.
Such gif me the Omen. It was pass de times watching before I sit and
absourd the acton of dhe prixes. Such is my exixtence total.
A move, and I lep! To the phon is a step. The action are scooped. I ashed
what I kept. Ten mills I had squaffed, my many kept offs, for now is the
chawer of actions. I gots buyen 1000 shares. A cool mill. $9.64 per acn.
+ $15 commission. Disk house; my avisementeur investisse isait down in
bank. Payèd par Salary. We carre - he an me.
So no bad hoodû. Things will look alright.
In fact they did. I giotten out at $15.23 p.a. minous another 15 bill.
Total score: $5560 profit. Profitasion "bonney"!
I can't makait mon living right maintenant with Omen. They come too lent,
and AI tol me never, ne pas, noway to forcer. Tat's how one loses longue-terme.
So my education comes first too - so firstement. I cood be richessed and
stil staye.
One must always learner to think. We-ones have only one cervo, and one
vite.
[Grade: B+. Accurate and descriptive, but no flair in use of nouvel
grammar. Seems too rote-learned and rote-applied for deservation of an
A. Even if one might be callé for por effort.]
This is Daniel Ryan's first contribution to Enter Stage Right.

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