By Bonnie Rogoff
web posted October 2, 2006
Do you want to break the trans fat habit? A visit to City Hall may be the best cure. New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg held a press conference at City Hall to explain why trans fats are bad for us. Not to worry. Good Government is here to help.
Mayor Mike says everyone can enjoy snacks without trans fats. (Maybe we don't want to.) Mayor Mike says nobody is going to miss the ingredient. (How does he know that?)
Perhaps Bloomberg hasn't eaten in McDonald's lately. They've already revamped their trademark French fries, and the bland, tasteless current variety does not please the palate for those who remember the real thing. I remember Oreos, too. The formula was changed. Now all I have is a memory.
Besides doughnuts and fries, pastries, pies, bottled dressings, candies and cookies, just about every treat you love will be modified to meet the new alleged safety standards.
Unlike a ban on guns and smokes, the new legislation being proposed is unique. The product to be banned does not affect anyone except the person using it.
Has anyone ever died from second-hand trans-fats? Or been shot by a trans fat? I don't think so.
However, there is a possible motive for the ban that would explain Mayor Mike's anxieties. Consider the city's already bloated budget. If foods containing the offending ingredients cause obesity, high cholesterol and heart disease that lead to exorbitant health insurance costs, it will swell the city's bloated budget even bigger. Imagine all the fat cat civil servants sitting around gorging on Krispy Kremes. Taxpayers can't afford to finance their health problems, especially if they work for the Transit Authority.
However, Mayor Mike doesn't address the real problem: personal responsibility and self-control. If you watch your diet and eat in moderation, you'll live a long, healthy life – even with occasional bad fats.
The point is, we eat too much and too many calories will ruin a svelte figure. I am a pushover for Breyer's old-fashioned vanilla-bean ice cream. Lately, I've been putting on weight. If I really went to town, maybe I'd become obese.
By the way, no trans fat does not mean sans fat. Breyers does not contain trans fats. Neither does my mom's delicious mocha nut butterballs. Eat it and weep.
As for heart-unhealthy ingredients, there is an evil culprit out there, an ingredient known to cause obesity, diabetes and cardiovascular ailments. It's called sugar. Sucrose is lurking everywhere, even in so-called "healthy" foods. Indeed, sugar sometimes appears as a masked cereal killer, butchering all the benefits of a bowl of wholegrain oats. Honey-nut fruity frosted Cheerios, anyone?
And yes, sugar is guilty of bad cholesterol, because huge amounts are baked into snacks that are fattening, and obesity raises LDL levels.
So if city health officials really want to combat weight problems amongst our kids, they ought to ban sugar. Maybe they ought to ban parents who feed their kids sugar. Maybe that's why so many kids are hyperactive.
To sum up Mayor Mike? Pro-choice on abortion, no choice on food.
In deference to liberals, here are my suggestions for the future bans after trans:
1. Perfume. (My second grade teacher wore so much Arpege I was suspended for chronic gagging.)
2. Bleach and ammonia. (When they mop the floors at Met Foods, my migraines act up so bad I want to douse myself with Formula 409 and light a match).
Mayor Mike, you should have stayed a Democrat.
Do you really want to break the trans fat habit? Hydrogenation equals high taxation. November 7 is coming soon. Vote for conservative Republicans who cut taxes and make our national budget lean. 
Copyright 2006 by Bonnie Rogoff. All rights reserved.