Obama proves economically inept with Osama bin Laden
By J.J. Jackson
Geez, Louise! The U.S. military takes down head radical Islamic wacko numero uno and what do we do? We dump the body into the ocean! Does no one in the White House have even a single shred of intelligence in their heads?
Alas, I must once again come to the conclusion that none do. With a massive federal debt that is crippling the futures of not just our children but also our grandchildren, President Obama missed a golden opportunity to put a dent in the biggest threat to America as we know it. Had he been half as smart as the rocks sitting my front yard he could have come up with any number of ways to use the death of Osama bin Laden to help turn this country's debt crisis around.
Oh, I know the standard line that is being fed to the American people about how the military wanted to show respect for Muslim customs and dispose of the body within twenty-four hours and even how they did not want the body to be buried anywhere that could become a shrine for other Islamic wackos. But come on, do you really expect a group of people that get offended at minor events, such as the sun rising in the east every morning, and use them to justify killing infidels on a daily basis to act rationally no matter what was done?
Let's think about how the Osama bin Laden reaching room temperature could have helped America financially.
I understand that dead bodies tend to rot quickly. But OBL could have easily been plasticized, making him last for all eternity. Or at least until we decided to permanently dispose of his corpse. Plasticizing has been done quite some time and is a way to preserve bodies for scientific study.
Once preserved, the possibilities are almost limitless.
First, President Obama could have sent Osama's corpse on a nationwide tour. We could have called it the , "Slug A Terrorist A-Hole For A Buck!" tour. For one crisp U.S. dollar, as deflated as its value as it might be, anyone could get to whack UBL's corpse with a baseball bat one time. Undoubtedly people would have lined up with hundred dollar bills in hand for this event and we could have probably easily raised hundreds of billions of dollars in as little as one year. Do this for several years, perhaps just dragging out Osama on 9/11 each year and the cash could roll in for decades.
Second, I am sure that organizations like the NRA would pay big bucks to have the actual body of Osama bin Laden to make life sized, full body targets from for their members to take out and shoot up on the range. The royalties alone would add billions in desperately needed deficit reduction. And what red-blooded American would not want the chance to take a shot at the special edition Osama target with added brain splatter effect?
What about just renting the body out for Hang Osama Parties? Anyone could apply for the honor, pay a nominal fee and get to hang Osama bin Laden's preserved corpse in effigy. Tea Party rallies would be big money makers for this portion of the dead Osama business.
Then when we are all done with our fun it would be time to chop up OBL into little cubes. We would sell them for a hundred bucks a pop. Americans could put their own little piece of Osama next to their chunk of the Berlin Wall and other trinkets from history.
My God, what was Obama thinking indeed! He just threw away the perfect opportunity to do something serious about our debt. No wonder we are in such sorry shape these days. Considering how he and his liberal fellow travelers are always bitching about how people don't pay enough in taxes each year, yet themselves never donate more than they are legally obligated to to the IRS's coffers, how could he have looked such a nicely gift wrapped horse in the mouth and just thrown it all away?
I guess this is what you get when you have government of the Ivy League, by the Ivy League and for the Ivy League and elect people without an ounce of sense in their brains.
J.J. Jackson is a libertarian conservative author from Pittsburgh, PA who has been writing and promoting individual liberty since 1993 and is President of Land of the Free Studios, Inc. He is the Pittsburgh Conservative Examiner for Examiner.com. He is also the owner of The Right Things - Conservative T-shirts & Gifts. His weekly commentary along with exclusives not available anywhere else can be found at http://www.libertyreborn.com.