Sotomayor pick offends many aggrieved groups
By J.J. Jackson
Sonya Sotomayor has become a household name now that she has been nominated to fill a vacancy on the United States Supreme Court. A Hispanic Woman who we are constantly told has a wonderful back-story, Sotomayor's qualifications for the job are often not even discussed in depth. When her qualifications are discussed, they are often lied about. When they cannot be lied about, the lack of her ability that is apparent is poo pooed.
Obama talked about how his pick to the Supreme Court would share his regard for the Constitution and the rule of law. Is This the same regard for the Constitution which our esteemed leader has used to spend money above and beyond any conceivable constitutional authority by bailing out banks and automobile companies? Where exactly is that power found in Article II of the Constitution as a power of the President? How about under Article I and the authority of the Congress? Does the President mean the same regard for the rule of law that he shown no regard for by using government force to interfere with contracts between private parties such as by pressuring banks to renegotiate terms with deadbeats who should never have been given loans in the first place? Sotomayor promises to be an interesting pick indeed considering that she will, if Obama is to be believed, mirror his ideology.
But more importantly, at least from a liberal perspective, is that the pick of Sotomayor snubs so many who have thrown their lot in with President. Yes, Sotomayor appeases liberal Hispanics and liberal women, but Hispanics still have to recall how the Democrats pulled out all the stops to filibuster Miguel Estrada when he was nominated for the DC Circuit Court under President Bush. But that is probably justifiable in their eyes. Sure he was Hispanic. But he was conservative and a male after all.
In order to get Sotomayor placed upon the nation's highest court, Obama will have to work extra hard however to appease many other liberal special interest groups who still do not have a candidate that represents them in such a loft possition. Groups like these …
Militant Flaming Homosexuals - You know them, you love them. Well, you may not love them, but at least you admire their drive to keep the feathered boa and assless chaps industries lucrative and their ability to construct the most colorful of costumes for parades even as they are hurling sexually derogatory insults at heterosexuals who have figured out that tab A goes in slot B and not hole C. Members of this group have been heard threatening to bitch slap President Obama the next time they see him for still not having placed one of their kind on the highest court in the nation. After all, only a militant flaming homosexual with the richness of their experience can properly weigh cases regarding the lack of fuchsia fabrics available for purchase.
Aborted Fetuses – Yes, the aborted fetus lobby is no doubt in high dudgeon over the Sotomayor pick. After all, how can a woman who has not exerted her "right" to be aborted properly understand how members of this aggrieved group are constantly suppressed by those evil, pro-life right wingers? I understand that aborted fetuses everywhere are at this very moment flooding the White House with angry emails demanding an appointment of one of their own to the Supreme Court.
Bovines – For years cows have been oppressed and enslaved by man and even slaughtered for their meat. They are no doubt upset that Sotomayor has been appointed rather than a fellow bovine that would immediately put a stop to this senseless, but admittedly delicious, and murderous holocaust.
Midget Cross-dressing Transgenders with full body tattoos – Come on, you think this is not an important group just because there might be only four or five of them in America? Think again! The smaller the oppressed group the better and this small group gets discriminated on many times over. They complain that private companies should not be allowed to not hire them because their body art does not quite pass professional muster. And we all know about how cross-dressers and transgenders who cannot figure out what sex they belong to by simply looking in their pants are being discriminated against all over the place by evil, close minded folks. Sure there would need to be a booster seat installed so that whomever the appointee from this group eventual is they would be could actually see over the table to those arguing before the court, but hey, what does Obama have against these poor souls?
La Raza – Members of La Raza, a racist organization that promotes "the race" (Hispanics), above all others, wants open borders, amnesty, and so on are no doubt upset that ... oh wait ... my bad! Sotomayor is a member of the National Council of La Raza according to the National Bar Association. They will obviously be pleased with this pick so forget that I mentioned it.
Chrysler Dealers – Thinking that now that the government is pulling the strings of the once powerful American automobile company would give them an "in" with the next nominee, Chrysler dealers are no doubt upset that the next Supreme Court Justice will not be one of their own. Haven't they sacrificed enough for President Obama and his grand plans? Where's the justice?
Deciduous Trees – Yes, the deciduous trees are no doubt upset as well. For years the trees have been allowing the dirty, stinky, hemp wearing "dudes" and "dudettes" of the far left wing environmentalist movement to climb up into their branches causing them much pain and inconvenience. Now they too have been snubbed. How can a Hispanic woman properly understand the plight of the deciduous trees everywhere? Has she ever been rooted to the ground? Has she ever had to endure hippies climbing on her and staying there for weeks on end? Has she ever had to endure the pain of having a chainsaw taken to her body? No! She has not! So how can she properly rule on tree related issues?
And what about the evergreen trees you ask? Well, reports show that they are more conservative and tend to vote Republican. Plus they celebrate Christmas merrily by adorning festive light and are obviously in league with those evil Christians. So they are not worthy of liberal consideration.
One legged prostitutes – Still seeking equal representation on the court, the one legged prostitute lobby desires to legislate from the bench that at least one in every four Johns hire one of their kind who are being discriminated against are not as sought after as their two legged counterparts.
So where does this leave the President? Well, realizing all this, President Obama plans to announce that he will begin looking for a one legged, deciduous tree bovine who moonlights as a homosexual and transgendered midget cross dressing aborted fetus member of La Raza who formerly owned a Chrysler dealership for his next appointment. Although he admits that the search may take a while.
J.J. Jackson is a libertarian conservative author from Pittsburgh, PA who has been writing and promoting individual liberty since 1993 and is President of Land of the Free Studios, Inc. He is the lead editor contributor to American Conservative Daily and also the founder of SignalCongress.com. He is the owner of The Right Things - Conservative T-shirts & Gifts. His weekly commentary along with exclusives not available anywhere else can be found at http://www.libertyreborn.com.
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